There have been a number of experiences in my professional and personal life this past year that revealed a number of lessons. When you think of these, it's pretty straightforward and obvious, even to the point of saying "well, duh!" These are fully applicable to our work lives as well as our personal lives.
Nothing happens by accident. No matter what, everything happens for a reason. Consider the so-called butterfly effect where seemingly unrelated actions in one place affect another. Clients and projects are discovered because we seek them out, and make ourselves available to be found. Improvements to software occur as a result of experiences, particular bad experiences no one wishes to repeat. Our relationships (work and personal) grow or die based on the amount of effort placed into them; in many cases, a lack of work on a relationship (or no communication) can mean the end. Remember the attiage "no news is good news?" You can't rely on that; "no news IS bad news". Even miracles happen because of prayers behind them.
This is a pretty cool discovery, if you buy into it. It can mean that, no matter what, you CAN make a different and shape the future, no matter what it may appear today. It also comes with the burden and responsibility that one must make things happen (or, create situations that allow things to happen). And that can lead to a great deal of frustration when our reality is disjoined with our desires, which leads me to my next lesson.
Manage your expectations. When you think about it, there is a greater chance of having positive experiences than not. When an expectation is set (X action will yield Y result) there are three possible outcomes; that expectation is met (I got the raise of an expected amount), the expectation is exceeded (I got a raise, plus sweet dual-display LCD's for my desk!). The experience is almost always a success because what we hoped and wanted to happen did (no, I didn't get dual LCD's :( ). What creates problems is when expectations are not met (I got a rock!). Failing to meet an objective means a project isn't going the intended direction, which creates stress and tension (even a threat of security). We expect our employers to treat us a certain way; when they don't it creates friction. We expect software to behave a certain way; when it doesn't, we (as software developers) look bad, get frustrated, and may choose to not use that software.
There is this grey concept I've talked about in my seminars and with my clients, about setting "realistic expectations". When a client expects the world and gets a rock, you bet its going to cause problems. But maybe they really believed they were getting the world, even when their words and action led to the rock. This is why open and honest communication is so important to managing a project, or any relationship. When communication is "political", "controlled", or with any obstacle there increases the chances of expectations being missed by both sides. It can take organizations a great deal of time to adapt to "over-communicating" intentions, status, and information.
This leads me to a wonderful quote that I am unable to attribute to its author. I found it on a slide on a PowerPoint presentation, and have it hanging over my desk. I think it needs to be at home as well:
It is far easier to act yourself into a new way of thinking than to think yourself into a new way of acting.
May 2006 be filled with peace and joy, realistic expectations, and positive actions.